[It's really very annoying being tempted like this when the reason he has leftovers in the first place was because of Casper being all flirtatious last night. Muldoon is going to start thinking he's trying to get out of eating.]
I have. Early start means an early lunch. Never really manage an early dinner, but it means I definitely have an appetite when I get round to it.
[He shakes his head then.] I don't know how you can skip meals when you also work out. It's the fastest way to ensure a healthy appetite.
[It's terrible, truly it is. His hand itches to creep higher on Muldoon's thigh. Or to just give up all pretense of propriety and crawl into his lap entirely. But it's the middle of the day (he's fairly sure), in his office, and maybe he shouldn't.
Maybe.]
I do have breakfast, after my morning runs. Coffee, cereal with some fruit, that sort of thing. It's really only once I get into the office that my focus shifts entirely. And then I get back to the Boarding House, I'm too tired to do anything more than cereal again for dinner.
I did start keeping snacks in my office, though. Mostly so you don't fuss at me so much.
[Casper better not let his hand crawl up higher. Muldoon will just take all the reasons they shouldn't do more as a challenge to prove they can do it anyway.]
I won't fuss at you. I'll just flag you down as being malnourished and in need of immediate medical attention.
Your snacks better be more than just chocolate bars though.
Oh they are! They are, I promise. [Muldoon's knee gets a pat of reassurance, but Casper's hand doesn't stray any higher, for the moment.] I have oh -- granola, trail mix, dried fruit, that sort of thing. Mixed nuts, which do have a decent amount of protein. Cashews and pistachios, especially.
But there may or may not be the occasional chocolate bar in there, yes. But in addition to the healthier snacks.
See? [He takes the chance to lean in and give Muldoon a light kiss. Brief, almost chaste, but teasingly fond.] I can take care of myself. Sometimes.
[Muldoon narrows his eyes as if considering whether this is all up to par, but then that little kiss ruins his seriousness and he has to smother a little smile.]
Alright. But you're still on my watch list. I do think you should set an alarm to remind you to leave the office for a bit of fresh air every now and then.
See? Just like you said. I can bat my eyes at you and get whatever I want. [He takes one of Muldoon's hands to toy with his fingers, pressing a kiss to his knuckles. Because he can, now. Because it feels easy. It feels nice.]
Can you stay while I eat my lunch, or do you have to hurry back to something?
[It's strange having someone so drawn to touching him, but pleasant too. He's definitely not going to resist, even if showing affection doesn't come as easily to him as it evidently does to Casper. If he'd let himself, he'd be stunned by it, by how naturally it comes to the other man. Even when reaching out for a hand that is rough and weathered and overall not the kind of hand which is made for affection.]
Of course I'm going to stay. How else am I going to be sure you actually eat what I brought you? [Nobody at his office will complain. Usually he just works through his lunches. Getting him out for a bit is likely a godsend.]
Besides, it gives me an opportunity to interrogate you. We need to cover everything we missed by getting distracted last night.
Interrogate me! Oh dear, well, I'll prepare myself, then. [Casper pulls a face, faux-frightened, but it only holds for a moment before he's smiling again.
One more kiss to the palm of Muldoon's hand, easy as anything, before he lets it go again.] I suppose I'd better release you so I can eat.
I did want to ask, since I forgot last night. [He sounds casual enough, despite the fluttering in his stomach. Not nervous, exactly, just excited for this new phase of things. He turns his attention to the paper bag, finally, opening it up while he continues talking.] Am I allowed to kiss you in front of people, or are you more private? Nothing untoward, of course, but if I snuck in a kiss on the cheek when I came to see you, that sort of thing.
[The fact that Casper plays along gets more fond smiling from Muldoon. The kiss and the joking makes everything seem so relaxed, the company so easily enjoyable. When his hand is released he sits back into his chair, hand rubbing his chin to stop him from just looking a bit smitten while he watches Casper.
That question helps, though. It's perhaps best that the scientist is looking at the paper bag so that he doesn't see the surprise flash across Muldoon's face before he wrangles the expression into neutrality. Somehow he hadn't thought about Casper wanting to be affectionate publicly. Which is silly, really. This is Casper. He wears everything on his sleeve; Heart, mind and soul.]
I'm more private. It's not that I'm trying to hide you, or keep a reputation for being stoic. [He taps a finger against his knee as he thinks of how to explain.] But that part of my life is for you, and just you, if that makes sense.
[Since now seems as good a time as any to put his cards on the table, after a hard swallow he decides to admit,] And... I've never... I've never had a relationship with a man before. Not properly. Definitely not publicly.
Ah. [He fusses a little with the bag, giving Muldoon his moment to collect himself. A bit of privacy, as it were. But then he sets the sandwich on his desk (just for the time being, he'll eat it in a moment) and sets his hand against the warden's knee.
This time, his smile is much more gentle, his expression one of understanding and patience.] Then I won't. Not until you're ready. And if that time is never, then that's fine, too.
I've had quite a few relationships with men, both publicly and privately. Long-term and short. We can take this as slow or as fast as you need to, all right? There are no wrong answers here, just what suits you. What suits us.
[He doesn't like this: Being inexperienced in something so fundamental as a relationship. He's had his fair share with women, but... He's not even sure how Casper had time to have 'quite a few' with men, and possibly more with women. But then, Casper's work likely never involved being out in the wilderness for months on end.
For now he tries his best not to look as awkward or annoyed at himself as he feels, and to focus instead on how nice Casper is being about it. The scientist could have backed out in a nervous flurry, but he didn't. He definitely didn't.]
Thank you. [The warden even puts his hand on Casper's, strange as it feels to do. He wants to show he means his appreciation.
Still he can't help the slight concern that twists his lips and touches his brow as he looks from their hands to Casper.] And you'll be honest with me? I don't want you to hide how you feel. About anything.
[If it comes up, he'll give more details. That he's never had much of a relationship with any woman. He tried, once, but it never felt right. That he dated casually in school, and more seriously at his last job, before he came here. But that was... complicated.
This doesn't feel complicated, which is a nice change.] I'll be honest with you, of course I will be. As long as you promise to do the same.
[He turns his hand over, so their hands are palm to palm, his expression softening further at the new contact.] You mentioned, last night -- you were worried about being overzealous. I'll admit I'm nervous about the same thing. That I might be too much, at some point. Will you tell me, if I am? If any of this is.
Sure. [Being honest won't be the problem. Understanding his own feelings is usually the trick. Thankfully so far there's no confusion, no worry. Casper is being far too kind and understanding for that.
Muldoon almost corrects Casper. Nearly explains that his 'overzealousness' is more a bedroom concern than an outside one. Then he realises it doesn't really matter. Casper has already addressed that. This is about Casper's worry.]
I'll tell you. Just try not to take it personally if I do. [There's a small fond smile as he tilts his head at Casper.] You're a much more open person than me. Than anyone. I've got some adapting to do. [His brow lifts and he squeezes Casper's hand in his demonstratively.] I don't remember the last time anyone wanted to hold my hand, for example.
[Oh, that little smile makes him feel so warm and contented. Like the world is going soft focus around the edges.] I do like that sort of thing. Holding hands, or kissing cheeks. Casual affection. But I know it can be a lot, if you're not used to it.
But I do think, truly, if anyone is capable of adapting, of evolving? It's absolutely you.
[Casual affection. Right. He's going to have to try his hand at some of that. For the moment he'll just have to smother his smile at Casper making little jokes.]
I've already started 'evolving'. I've had to go with one button open instead of two. [Flicking the extra shirt button open and tugging the fabric back, he tilts his head at Casper in playful accusation. The bruise on his collarbone is one of the few injuries he can't blame on one of the animals.] You don't happen to know anything about this, would you?
[Casper lets out a surprised oh! and laughs, clearly flustered if the red tinge to his cheeks says anything. Both at Muldoon unbuttoning his shirt, and the reminder of the very nice night they had.
He fusses a little with his bowtie, clearing his throat.] Honestly, I'm lucky that I stayed so buttoned up all the time. You made something of a mess of my neck. Not that I'm complaining, mind. [Though there is a bit of a mark that peeks up from under his collar, not quite as hidden away as he thought.]
[Alright it's impossible not to look a little smug with all that cute fluttering and the attention drawn to his own handiwork. Tucking his badge of honour away, he can't wipe the grin off his face.]
It was impossible to resist with all those noises you were making.
[Casper makes a motion to hush him, but he's laughing still, and he presses a kiss to the back of Muldoon's hand, shaking his head a little.] Terrible. Terrible.
I'm supposed to be eating this really nice lunch you brought me, and you're talking about the noises I make! Truly unfair.
You can absolutely ask me anything you'd like about myself! I will answer openly and honestly.
[He finally does take up the sandwich to take a bite, humming his approval and giving Muldoon a thumbs up.] You should threaten me with food more often, gracious.
Anything is better than nothing. [But he's still smiling at the compliment. He hasn't smiled this much in years. It's truly ridiculous how easy it is for Casper to get one out of him.]
Alright, then. If you weren't stuck on this island, what would you do for fun?
[It's a very nice smile, and Casper is exceedingly pleased that he's able to see more of it, recently.
He eats while he talks, though he does cover his mouth and finish chewing before doing so.] Outside of work, I'm honestly a little boring. Even when I wasn't stuck on an island, I didn't do much that wasn't work. I read a lot, though. Work here and there on a book I'll probably never publish, but it's fun to play with. More of a thought experiment than anything.
You're writing a book? [Hopefully the question, along with the raised eyebrow and tone of his voice will convey that the way Casper mentions it so casually is not proportional to the attention it deserves.] What is it about?
Oh! [He looks a little surprised at further questions, honestly. It feels like half the department has written a book. Wu has probably written five, at this point.]
Well I just had this idea -- what if there hadn't been a major cataclysmic event that wiped out the majority of the dinosaurs? How would that evolutionary chain have progressed, how might it have looked alongside animals that we know to have carried over from that period. Sharks! For instance. Largely unchanged from the start of their evolutionary progress. But other things have crawled onto land, developed lungs and legs -- so it's a look at the different possibilities that might have occurred. What would a modern dinosaur look like? That sort of idea.
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I have. Early start means an early lunch. Never really manage an early dinner, but it means I definitely have an appetite when I get round to it.
[He shakes his head then.] I don't know how you can skip meals when you also work out. It's the fastest way to ensure a healthy appetite.
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Maybe.]
I do have breakfast, after my morning runs. Coffee, cereal with some fruit, that sort of thing. It's really only once I get into the office that my focus shifts entirely. And then I get back to the Boarding House, I'm too tired to do anything more than cereal again for dinner.
I did start keeping snacks in my office, though. Mostly so you don't fuss at me so much.
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I won't fuss at you. I'll just flag you down as being malnourished and in need of immediate medical attention.
Your snacks better be more than just chocolate bars though.
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But there may or may not be the occasional chocolate bar in there, yes. But in addition to the healthier snacks.
See? [He takes the chance to lean in and give Muldoon a light kiss. Brief, almost chaste, but teasingly fond.] I can take care of myself. Sometimes.
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Alright. But you're still on my watch list. I do think you should set an alarm to remind you to leave the office for a bit of fresh air every now and then.
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Can you stay while I eat my lunch, or do you have to hurry back to something?
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Of course I'm going to stay. How else am I going to be sure you actually eat what I brought you? [Nobody at his office will complain. Usually he just works through his lunches. Getting him out for a bit is likely a godsend.]
Besides, it gives me an opportunity to interrogate you. We need to cover everything we missed by getting distracted last night.
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One more kiss to the palm of Muldoon's hand, easy as anything, before he lets it go again.] I suppose I'd better release you so I can eat.
I did want to ask, since I forgot last night. [He sounds casual enough, despite the fluttering in his stomach. Not nervous, exactly, just excited for this new phase of things. He turns his attention to the paper bag, finally, opening it up while he continues talking.] Am I allowed to kiss you in front of people, or are you more private? Nothing untoward, of course, but if I snuck in a kiss on the cheek when I came to see you, that sort of thing.
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That question helps, though. It's perhaps best that the scientist is looking at the paper bag so that he doesn't see the surprise flash across Muldoon's face before he wrangles the expression into neutrality. Somehow he hadn't thought about Casper wanting to be affectionate publicly. Which is silly, really. This is Casper. He wears everything on his sleeve; Heart, mind and soul.]
I'm more private. It's not that I'm trying to hide you, or keep a reputation for being stoic. [He taps a finger against his knee as he thinks of how to explain.] But that part of my life is for you, and just you, if that makes sense.
[Since now seems as good a time as any to put his cards on the table, after a hard swallow he decides to admit,] And... I've never... I've never had a relationship with a man before. Not properly. Definitely not publicly.
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This time, his smile is much more gentle, his expression one of understanding and patience.] Then I won't. Not until you're ready. And if that time is never, then that's fine, too.
I've had quite a few relationships with men, both publicly and privately. Long-term and short. We can take this as slow or as fast as you need to, all right? There are no wrong answers here, just what suits you. What suits us.
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For now he tries his best not to look as awkward or annoyed at himself as he feels, and to focus instead on how nice Casper is being about it. The scientist could have backed out in a nervous flurry, but he didn't. He definitely didn't.]
Thank you. [The warden even puts his hand on Casper's, strange as it feels to do. He wants to show he means his appreciation.
Still he can't help the slight concern that twists his lips and touches his brow as he looks from their hands to Casper.] And you'll be honest with me? I don't want you to hide how you feel. About anything.
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This doesn't feel complicated, which is a nice change.] I'll be honest with you, of course I will be. As long as you promise to do the same.
[He turns his hand over, so their hands are palm to palm, his expression softening further at the new contact.] You mentioned, last night -- you were worried about being overzealous. I'll admit I'm nervous about the same thing. That I might be too much, at some point. Will you tell me, if I am? If any of this is.
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Muldoon almost corrects Casper. Nearly explains that his 'overzealousness' is more a bedroom concern than an outside one. Then he realises it doesn't really matter. Casper has already addressed that. This is about Casper's worry.]
I'll tell you. Just try not to take it personally if I do. [There's a small fond smile as he tilts his head at Casper.] You're a much more open person than me. Than anyone. I've got some adapting to do. [His brow lifts and he squeezes Casper's hand in his demonstratively.] I don't remember the last time anyone wanted to hold my hand, for example.
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But I do think, truly, if anyone is capable of adapting, of evolving? It's absolutely you.
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I've already started 'evolving'. I've had to go with one button open instead of two. [Flicking the extra shirt button open and tugging the fabric back, he tilts his head at Casper in playful accusation. The bruise on his collarbone is one of the few injuries he can't blame on one of the animals.] You don't happen to know anything about this, would you?
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He fusses a little with his bowtie, clearing his throat.] Honestly, I'm lucky that I stayed so buttoned up all the time. You made something of a mess of my neck. Not that I'm complaining, mind. [Though there is a bit of a mark that peeks up from under his collar, not quite as hidden away as he thought.]
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It was impossible to resist with all those noises you were making.
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I'm supposed to be eating this really nice lunch you brought me, and you're talking about the noises I make! Truly unfair.
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Alright, I'll behave. I'll even talk about something boring if you like. If asking you more about yourself is going to distract you from eating.
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[He finally does take up the sandwich to take a bite, humming his approval and giving Muldoon a thumbs up.] You should threaten me with food more often, gracious.
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Alright, then. If you weren't stuck on this island, what would you do for fun?
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He eats while he talks, though he does cover his mouth and finish chewing before doing so.] Outside of work, I'm honestly a little boring. Even when I wasn't stuck on an island, I didn't do much that wasn't work. I read a lot, though. Work here and there on a book I'll probably never publish, but it's fun to play with. More of a thought experiment than anything.
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Well I just had this idea -- what if there hadn't been a major cataclysmic event that wiped out the majority of the dinosaurs? How would that evolutionary chain have progressed, how might it have looked alongside animals that we know to have carried over from that period. Sharks! For instance. Largely unchanged from the start of their evolutionary progress. But other things have crawled onto land, developed lungs and legs -- so it's a look at the different possibilities that might have occurred. What would a modern dinosaur look like? That sort of idea.
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Are you writing it as a scientific theoretical exploration or a science-fiction book?
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